i live for..

what you want from me.. i can never give.

lyrics that ring very true to me.

i dont practice anymore, but i went to a christian sermon this past sunday with my mom. and for the first time, i have come to a realization. that doesn't happen very often, especially in organized religion (at least for me), that i can come away from it with a real message that rings true to me..

at any rate.. they were basically talking to us (women) about how we are cursed since adam & eve with the desire to be loved by our husbands/boyfriends and to be approved by them. but as soon as we are securely fasten - what have you.. you want them to return the same desire of approval to you. and therefore, expect so much in return.

perhaps, the love i crave can not be satisfied with a person at all, but in numbers of people that contribute positively to my life.

why am i waiting for something spectacular to happen to me? but what i tend to forget it, life is happening right now! and believe it or not, things spectacular happen everyday.. that i dumb down becuz i want something like love to sweep me off my feet.. or some shit like that. and in all honesty, i know the world we live in, it wont happen. and even if it does, it wont last like i'd want it to.