stay strong, nels!

nelson is in the hospital with pancreatitis this new years.
it's acute (it happened suddenly) for him. he's super scared and in a lot of pain, unable to smoke a cigarette and eat real solid foods.
it's a serious condition and he needs all the prayers he can get..


your heart is yours to use,
but it's not yours to choose.

love would an easier game,
if our hearts were ours to tame.

you can't help who you dig.. if i could pick & choose..
you'd still be around for me to kick it with...


a book

is what i will write, get ready 2009..

dying over here..

with anticipation.. why won't you tell me what's going on?




another christmas

its another christmas.. good god.. do they sneak up on me each and every year. but this year seems as though it just zoomed on by considerably faster.. why i'm not certain..

i'm so appreciative of what i have in my life, sometimes i need to just stand still and breathe it in and reflect on how rewarding this year has been for me. all the positive people that have made it in my life and some people that have found their way back to me. one person in particular. her name is heather, we were roommates my sophomore year. she was an unexpected surprise, so closely to my birthday did she pop back into my life. i couldn't have asked for anything more than that.. i didn't want for anything this year until i realized in fact, she was missing.

i'm blessed for sure.. she made it back to me and i'm grateful. who knows how long she will stick around.. but who cares.. hopefully forever. her friendship meant a great deal and still does, but after excepting her disappearance, years ago.. it never accured to me that she would one day knock on my door. i'm thankful that she has.

life happens and a long the way you meet or reconnect with people unexpectedly.
i am grateful i found interest in a boy, that she was also into.. and in turn i met andrea.
i am grateful i had met andrea, and in turn met connie.
i am grateful that i dated matt, and in turn met many amazing people, to name a few: nikki, stephanie, maggie, chewy, lauren.. and others in between.
i am grateful that connie and i visited andrea in brooklyn, and in turn i met kerrigan.
i am grateful that i visited san diego to see davers and his baby boy, trey, and in turn met lee.
i am grateful for working with camille and for the opportunity to be closer than ever and find a true friend in her!
i am grateful for working with erin also, that our friendship just grew over time and it's awesome! eeeeeeeee!

i am grateful for a many things this year.
and i want for nothing.. i am rich in friends.


ventures in the snowy city

so me and andrea had a late start today, made coffee and ramen!


trekky from wayyyyy back!

god, i cant wait for this movie to come out! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!


going green

going green is the way to go.. im thinking of putting together a green design company in the very near future.. any takers?


the life i lead

this weekend was a reflection of how fulfilling my life has become.
i somehow seek more but all along everything is right here within my reach.
i think you need weekends like these to remind you how rich you really are in life.

i went to my auntie deng deng's funeral on saturday morning, i also visited my lola and uncle les's grave. it just reminded me of how precious life really is. i wonder why we are all given such a gift of life, yet we find so many things to complain so much about and surround ourselves with negative influences. flush out those who are not contributing positive energy to your life and fill your life with amazing people.. if you can find them all, cuz i feel like i got them all.

meanwhile, im back in richmond and hunger so i figure i could make some ramen, maybe drop in egg in there.. we will see where the moment takes me.


simple as pie

so i made a pie from scratch.. well everything but the crust, but come on.
i feel like i accomplished something of a masterpiece!
to me this chocolate pecan pie is the best pie ever of all pies in the world wide world!

if you havent tried already, take my word for it..

right now it sits upon my desk tainting me so.. i brought it for my work christmas potluck and it would be super yummy with my coffee this morning.. but i will be patient. its not cute to come to a potluck with a pie half eaten.


plus one

why is it that we need a series of things in our lives, and when one out of that series is missing, you let it effect the rest of the things you do already have.. rather than appreciating what it is that you do have?


and i see you
you think no one understands you
well i do, everyday i wait
for you to see me too.

and here i am
waiting for the chance to be yours
i want it to be my turn
to be in your heart.

and it's okay
to keep me waiting here for you
i will wait forever if that's
what you want me to do.

and so i wait...


forever my friend

forever my friend - ray lamontagne
this is such a beautiful song...

my co-worker anita tells me that i'm in a romantic mood, as she waves her hand in front of my face, she says "come back to this world."

anita is in an arranged marriage, she has only lived in america for a short time. she asks me about how to be romantic, things perhaps her and her husband can do together.. i suggested things like skiing, ice skating, dinner & a movie, a day trip somewhere, camping, etc. there is so much to do as a couple, i miss that couple feeling.. a lot. the companionship of having someone to make plans with.

i guess im just a hopeless romantic, that hopes that i find my friend, my love, my man, and that it will last a lifetime.. sigh.